JoFwise - This is Me

Here we are then, nearly the end of 2023 - my 50th year. My therapist again reminded me that actually this blog can be my voice. That it's okay to write here and share it, people may read it and it may help others BUT it definitely helps me. It's a great way of getting things out. What happens is I store everything up until I get to therapy, where I feel safe to let it out but it's then a very expensive way of crying.... This week I've had both of my therapies - talking and also the EFT (tapping) - what was weird was that in both the same thing was asked of me, but in slightly different ways "what's the hardest part of this" and then "what are the things that are most going round and round in my head". The first question I struggled to answer at the time but on reflecting i got somewhere. And then when the second question came up that came quite easily - each circle reflecting the size of the intrusive thought. Even just putting in on paper felt ...

Another significant amount of time has gone by, I really wanted to try and keep a monthly blog but you know it's hard. My therapist (hello!) spotted I've not been writing much and pointed out it's always a sign, I'm better when I write. Less likely to store up emotions and feelings so they explode. Less disconnected from myself and others. It's also not like there hasn't been a whole lot going on in these 2 months, so it's quite hard to know where to start. Probably I'll start with Gabor Mate. I've just finished his latest book The Myth of Normal. There is so much to say about it, but this isn't a book review. It has given me lots to think about, not least about my own agency in this journey through finally dealing with my trauma. How much creativity, movement and paying attention can help me, does help me. How much I am responsible for navigating, that of course my brain tells me these things - why wouldn't it? It was a protection from what ...