Positive disruption

Recently I had the idea to set up a group that brought together people in my organisation who have an interest in Brene Brown and similar social scientists and authors. Almost like a book club but where we try and lean in to difficult conversations and develop ourselves and perhaps the organisations culture as well. For those that don’t know (but who really can’t of heard of Brene Brown) she is a social researcher who made her name in studying and then writing about vulnerability and shame. This has now led to one of the most watched TED talks ever, many best selling books and two podcasts one on leadership and the other on “unlocking us”. She speaks strongly about the strength of connection, empathy and her latest book Atlas of the Heart explores the now extensive range of human emotions - 87 at last count! 

There were quite a few people at work I’ve had chats about her work with so this group is a great way of sharing that love. For our first session I decided we would pre-listen to her podcast on values (https://brenebrown.com/resources/living-into-our-values/) and work through the accompanying worksheet. It was a wonderfully open and free flowing discussion that led me to think about my own values - authenticity and making a difference. But then review these and question if I really base my daily decisions on these things. 

Being authentic is what has led me to blog in the first place. It’s why I’m now so open about my mental health and definitely how I lead my team and operate in work. I try to be authentic outside of work too but actually find that more difficult and more vulnerable. Weird hey. Maybe because people have known me longer and it’s harder for them to realise I’ve changed or I’m not the person they thought I was. Identity is so difficult. Meeting people where they are takes effort and trust. Preconceived ideas of who I am, who I was and how I behave may or may not exist in my friends or out of work social circles but I believe they do and that thought often gets me stuck and makes interaction and connection awkward. But I’m trying to move past this. I’m trying to be me. 

Which leads me back to my value of authenticity. This takes bravery and this week at work I lived that challenge. Stepping in to express myself, my views and raise legitimate challenge. The result was worth it. It wasn’t push back, it was open and inviting. The risk was worth it. If we don’t face a challenge we can’t resolve a challenge. I walk past those words every day in my office. I’ve also lived that life as a gay woman who came out when the UK was still unaccepting of us, my first pride in Hackney had nearly more police than attendees, there was no civil partnerships and the first psychiatrist I ever saw said all my problems were because I thought I may be gay. Then I moved to Kent where the local authority leader had said they should keep Section 28 and the Rainbow staff group met in secret. Over 10 years of campaigning to get support to fly the Freedom (Rainbow) flag over county hall eventually met success. But clearly without realising I have credentials in fighting to bring about change, particularly organisational cultural change. Without realising I am a cultural disruptor. Looking at ways to do things differently to get new results and elicit true change. 

Which brings me back to my values. Authenticity absolutely. Making a difference? Well maybe. But is disrupting a value?